CONTENT WARNING – PG-13 Material ahead – Slightly NSFWish

I once saw a Facebook discussion where someone posted that they heard a comment in a Sacrament meeting that “You can never go wrong when you quote Brigham Young.”  This led to some discussion and joking about some of the questionable things that Brigham Young said about race, polygamy, and doctrine, etc.  I would guess that most members of the Sunstone community are well aware that Brigham Young said and taught a number of things that would no longer be said in LDS meetings or printed in current Church manuals.  But how many of you are aware that Brigham Young also had a bit of a potty mouth?  I offer you a lighter take on LDS history in this post be presenting a selection of quotes from Brigham Young’s sermons that if said in General Conference today would have the audio guys busy using the “Bleep” button to keep the meetings safe for TV and young ears.  All quotes are courtesy of the Smith Pettit Foundation publication “The Complete Discourses of Brigham Young” (2009, Edited by Richard S Van Wagoner)

Why could not you say that it was not any of your business to dictate about the elections – you are sh*tting in my dish and I will kick (you) out and you all [-]. (p. 446)

I am for the Constitution, but I am not for the little, nasty, pusillanimous snotty (and were it not that there are ladies here I would say sh*tten shirt-tailed puppies) that will violate it, and trample the rights of loyal republicans under their feet. (p. 539)

I want enough to go together in a company that if they meet twenty or thirty cut throats, they can use them up, and feed them to the wolves. In the present state of the country, hundreds and thousands will go and do as they please. They have sh*t on the government, and are now rubbing it in. (p. 1729)

It is as I told you this morning, every person has a right to be a poor, devilish fool, and every snotty little merchant has perfect liberty to be a sh*t house if they like. (p. 1846 )

How do you think I feel about it? Who cares about these infernal Gentiles?
If they were to wear a sh*t pot on their heads, must I do so? (p. 1908)

And that thing that is here that calls himself Governor, I do not know of a thing that could be here that would be any more in accordance with the wishes of this people, that he is. If you were to fill a sack with cow sh*t, it would be the best thing you could do for an imitation, and that would be just as good as he. (p. 2076)

In all matters of difference strives to get a revelation from God, that you may know whether your brother has actually become an enemy of God; and if you cannot find out, and if you cannot find out that he is an enemy of God, do not cast him off. For I do not care what he has done to you if he has sh*t in your garden and in your face. (p. 1664)

The ancient Apostles and ministers of Christ could not live without eating. They had to eat, drink, and wear,—to have sustenance while on earth. So do I, though I do not require the rich luxuries of life. I am not so fond as many are of high living, but I have to eat and rest. And when a Church debt comes from England, New York, Missouri, St. Louis, or elsewhere, the money has to be paid. I cannot chew paper and sh*t out bank-bills that will pass in payment of those debts, neither shall I undertake to do it. (The Deseret news transcription of this talk says “spit out bank bills” it is Will Bagley’s contention that the editors “cleaned Brigham up” and that Brigham really used the “S Word”) (p. 1676).